


You Got The Rhythm

by LostinThisIndigoGalaxy



Category: EXO (Band), NCT (Band), SHINee, SuperM (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Alternate Universe - Magic, Author has a foul mouth, Cussing, Dancer Kim Jongin | Kai, Dancer Lee Taemin, Dancing, Depression, Gay Bar, Getting Back Together, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, LGBTQ Character of Color, Loss, M/M, MAMA Era Powers (EXO), Magic, Memory Loss, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Queer Families, Queer Themes, Sex Positive, Slow Burn, mentioned Ten/Jaehyun/Johnny
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:09:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27701183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostinThisIndigoGalaxy/pseuds/LostinThisIndigoGalaxy
Summary: Jongin had only planned on going dancing to blow off some steam, but the magnetic pull of a mysterious man with an asymmetrical periwinkle haircut and a nearly superhuman beauty draws him into feelings he thought he'd put away long ago.Since the accident that left him and his friends with unexplainable powers and no memories, he's done his best to live one day at a time... even when the unknowable loss feels unbearable.He tried to leave the past in the past, but one way or another, the past may just be coming back for him.
Relationships: Choi Minho/Kim Junmyeon | Suho, Kim Jongin | Kai/Lee Taemin, Past Kim Jongin/Oh Sehun - Relationship
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	1. Let Me Give You What You Want Tonight

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was born because Kai's black light teasers are so nicely matchy match in aesthetic with Taemin's move teasers. Teleportation and Black light... How could I say no to that?
> 
> The song Junmyeon sings in this chapter is SuperM's 'Wish You Were Here'. The song Jongin sings is Taemin's 'Think of You'  
> \-------
> 
> We are not entitled to the private lives of Idols. If you suspect one of your favorite idols might actually be LGBTQIA+ The most respectful thing we can do is leave them The hell alone about it.
> 
> They can't freely talk about it. We should not try to force them to. Outing people, trying to out people is always wrong.
> 
> Vox Noire is feeding vulnerable black families with direct reparations. Contribute if you can.
> 
> https://checkout.square.site/pay/ede082a569ce4352b6bc30d3dd6ec00a

**Today**

It was a Saturday, so Jongin was thinking about going out. The problem with that was that he didn't really want to go anywhere. He just wanted to sit... Somewhere. He picked at the fancy blue leather on the arm of the not as comfortable as it should be, chair. Sehunnie had been chastising Jongin for being sulky and depressed... since forever basically, but especially recently. This last time they broke up, they had broken up approximately 3,432 times, it was practically seasonal at this point, he said Jongin was only going through the motions. The motions of what though? It was not his fault near immorality was so incredibly boring. 

Nobody warned him of that when he was a kid. Now it had been a few centuries and he was just so incredibly bored. There was only so much fucking your equally bored nearly immortal friends you could do, before that got boring too. Nobody's head game was eternity levels of good. 

They all dealt with the boredom in different ways. Yixing got married about once a century and spent a few decades off somewhere raising a family. Jongin tried dating a mortal exactly once. 

Krystal was a nice girl, beautiful. But in the end she hadn't been able to contend with how much bigger than life virtual immorality was, and he wasn't cut out for mourning people forever. He left long before it could become an issue, rationalizing that the deck had been stacked against them from the start. That didn't prevent him from feeling guilty enough to check on her once, years later. She'd done well for herself and he was glad, but made sure to teleport away before she had a chance to notice her nearly immortal ex boyfriend taking a peek.

Since then it had just been him and his friends. As far back as he remembered, which wasn't all the way back. He didn't remember being a kid or a teenager really. Occasionally he had a flash of something or someone, sun warm skin and feeling of belonging. But that was it, as far as his past was concerned. 

There were twelve of them as far as far back as his memory went. If that statement left him with an unnamed dread, he chose not to dwell on it. What would the point be? Somewhere along the last few centuries three of them slowly stopped coming around. No one knew for sure what happened. They'd been unhappy, frustrated so maybe they just left? Sometimes Jongin wished he could just leave. Hopefully they were well somewhere.

After Kris, Lu Han, and Zitao disappeared or went their own way, they were only 9, but Yixing was always off somewhere playing mortal. Though Yixing loved them, in every practical sense he had moved on. That was fine. They were mostly 8 now, 9 in heart but 8 in physical space. Seven intense best friends forever? That was to much for anyone. As often as not, they kept to themselves for months or years. Kyungsoo, Jongdae, Junmyeon, and Minseok had all gone on grand adventures in the last decade or two. They texted sometimes and seemed happy. Jongin was glad for them, but had no motivation to go globe trotting when he could blip himself anywhere imaginable. Still Sehun wasn't wrong. He probably was depressed... So he should probably go out. If nothing else it would prevent another round of well meaning nagging.

As soon as Nini decided, he popped into his coat room, grabbed his fluffiest, pale pink, comfort, coat and jumped into a safe alley near a new place Minseok told him about the last time he'd blown through town. Supposedly it was classy for a dance club. Though he wasn't exactly in the mood to fend off horny mortal boys, dancing was one of the few things in this long boring life that still gave him joy. He felt more free dancing then he ever felt blip blop popping all over the planet in the blink of an eye. Teleportation was practical but it was not romantic.

'Move' was a classy club in an ultra modern, leather and stainless steel, sort of way. It had huge picture windows so you could see all the beautiful men dancing, kissing, enjoying being alive. He supposed it was intended to draw one in. Just like any other display window. Window shopping. heh. Jongin chuckled quietly at his joke. 

His neon green hair was really especially radiant in the black light leaking out onto the street. The aesthetic of the deep cobalt blue of his skin under the lights, the highlighter bright chartreuse hair, the bright white blue clothes, it pleased him. He looked good. It was satisfying. 

His reflection in the glass moved unexpectedly, without him. 

An instant of heady disorientating vertigo resolved into the realization that someone was watching him from the other side of the glass. They were petite with a dramatic, smokey periwinkle, asymmetrical haircut that covered one eye, make up that was designed to look flawlessly and effortlessly startlingly... everything, It worked. Their whole outfit was similarly flashy, casually confident, slightly dangerous, and very... fuck your gender roles. It made Jongin smile a little. The physically smaller person radiated power & assertive tenacity. The sort of person who was accustomed to getting what they wanted, when they wanted it. They stared up at Jongin from under their bangs. That angle should have looked demure, but on them it looked promising, threatening... almost hungry. Their tunic read 'Take a small bite' at the neck. Jongin laughed, what if he wanted to take a big bite? What then? He shook the sexy reaction out of his head literally. He did not mess with mortals anymore. When he looked back up, the person was gone. Ah well, for the best. He didn't come to play with people, he came to dance. 

Jongin supposed this place could be all right, he couldn't help doubting a bit, he was old fashioned... well he was old, even if he didn't look it. The club seemed a little pretentious to him, but the music was sexy, thumpy, there was at least one very hot, possibly also pretentious, carefully styled person in there, and most importantly it would get Sehun off his back. He remembered to walk through the door instead of teleporting. Some days it was the smallest wins that kept him going. That was definitely the one for today.

\-----------

The inside of the club was a little austere but nearly perfect acoustics and a large dance floor meant for actual dancing not just grinding made up for a lot. He did his best as he walked (ugh so slow) to the bar to not judge prematurely. There was a hand drawn sign taped carefully to the tip jar. It said, "Don't be a Dick, Tip Your Bar Boy!". Underneath the reminder there was an artsy stylized dick ejaculating flowers and dollar bills. It was both tacky and extremely well executed. Someone put a lot of time and love into this thing almost no one would appreciate. This time Jongin did laugh. The bartender slid into place in front of him, leaned forward, half yelling to be heard over the thumping music, and tapped the sign. 

"Do you like my sign?" 

"I do! Trashy High Art Camp is mostly a lost and underappreciated art form these days" 

The tiny bartender laughed

"Ahhh I see, he says these days as if he had seen those days, despite being what? Two years older than me? No wonder he likes you. It makes perfect sense. You're both painfully hot and painfully weird. - oh here's your drink. He said you'd like it" 

Jongin was going to protest being called weird by a literal stranger but then a drink arrived along with a whole avalanche of information, it was understandably distracting. Jongin looked at the giant martini glass filled with a mysterious brown liquid. He frowned, uncertain.

"What? No... I didn't order this. I don't really drink hard alcohol to much. It's bitter. Ugh. I'm not explaining well." 

The bartender smirked cutely at Jongin's over explaining, bit his lip for the dramatics of it. 

"Just try it, he's hardly ever wrong" 

"Who's hardly ever wrong?" 

Jongin tentatively sipped the slightly intimidating martini, it tasted like chocolate... and a little tea maybe. He couldn't taste the alcohol at all. It was really good, he beamed a bit despite his uncertainty. 

The bartender seeing he liked it, pointed to the office in the back, the kind with a large second story window to watch the floor from. The beautiful periwinkle menace from before stood watching him from behind the glass, again. It felt like he caught and held Jongin's eyes, though that shouldn't be possible from that far away. His heart skipped a beat. Something impossibly old and sad leeched into his bones. 

"My name is Ten by the way, not that you notice I exist now that his highness has summoned you. Story of my life. He said you could go up if you wanted to..."

Ten gestured like he was waiting for something, what? Ohh right.

"Sorry, Jongin is me, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude." 

Ten laughed, loud and warm, bit his lip again and looked up at Jongin through his eyelashes, with a very trouble making expression. He liked this kid a lot, he was funny. 

"Oh no, not at all. No offense mister tall and twinky, I tend to like my men more... casually dominant" 

Jongin laughed again. It was really easy to laugh with Ten. This was probably the most he'd laughed in weeks. Maybe it was a good thing he came after all. Jongin smirked, letting himself be playful. It had been a long time.

"You know actually, now that you mention it, so do I" 

They both laughed, friendship aquired. 

"Ohhh I hadn't noticed that at all Nini, but you better go on up now if you're gonna go. He isn't a man accustomed to waiting for anyone or anything." 

Ten waved him off with another mischievous smile. Jongin was about to ask how Ten knew his nickname... or to protest that he could damn well wait for someone this time. But watching him staring down at Jongin with an intensity that was almost melancholy. He found himself drawn towards the mystery man inexorably as if there were something tangible between them, drawing them together, though he couldn't imagine what that might be. He headed towards the private elevator Ten had directed him to, sipping his drink and reminding himself that he did not get involved with mortals... even if they were very commanding, attractive mortals with an intense magnetism he couldn't explain... but he didn't stop walking that way either. There was only so much strength he could be expected to have. 

____________________

**450 years ago approximately**

"He doesn't remember anything?", Taemin whispered, blinking away the tears. 

"I'm so sorry Taemin ah, he doesn't", the restrained sympathy in Junmyeon's face almost made it worse. Jun had always been so kind. It hurt to see his pain reflected in those tender eyes. Junmyeon squeezed Taemin's hand and continued, "He didn't really remember us either. He doesn't remember anything from before. It's just been a year. He's gotten used to us. Most of them don't really remember to much, only Baekhyun and I kept much memory from before the fire. I don't know why though Taemin ah. We don't know why. Nini took the brunt of it. Alchemical Fire... It's different. It was never supposed to get to that point. We were all supposed to be out before that man could turn us into... this. I know you know that. I'm just reminding you Taeminnie. What happened, it's no ones fault." 

"He took the brunt of that spell for me... and I thought he forgot me, moved on. I've been so mad... hurt. I didn't even stop to think he could have been hurt Hyung. What kind of love of his life am I if I couldn't have that much faith in him?" 

Taemin looked down at his feet, as if avoiding looking at the situation could unmake it. Junmyeon sighed, face etched in empathetic sadness. 

"He misses you though Taemin ah, he doesn't know it, but he does. He's always looking over the horizon, waiting for you. He just doesn't know it's you he's waiting for. You could stay you know, with us, you could stay. There is no world in which Kim Jongin wouldn't and won't fall in love with Lee Taemin." 

A wet, tormented, sob escaped Taemin's iron clad self control. 

"I can't... I cant... things are complicated for us too. I don't... I think I have to go. I can't be here when he wakes up. I can't look in his eyes and see nothing. It's selfish, I know, but I just can't bear it. I think I would die of heartbreak right there. I don't have the luxury of a broken heart right now. I have to take care of my family too." 

"It's not selfish Taemin ah" 

"It feels selfish. It feels like the worst kind of betrayal" 

Junmyeon leaned into Taemin, offering him silent support while he tried to collect himself. 

"I'm taking them to the islands. JJong always liked it there. It... It'll be a good place for them to recuperate. Send word if he remembers. Please. Please just send word if he remembers." 

"You know I will, but Taemin ah, what about you? What are you going to be doing while they're recuperating?" 

"I'll wait... I have nothing but time now anyway, so I'll wait. Just... send word if..." 

Taemin couldn't bring himself to finish that sentence. He was much to aware that 'If' also meant the possibility of an 'if not'. 

"I will Taeminnie, but take care of yourself ok? No living some self imposed solitary confinement to punish yourself, ok? It's ok to live. We have to keep on living." 

Taemin nodded, numb and exhausted. 

"Okay Hyung, I will not do that thing." 

Taemin wiped his eyes one more time and said his good byes. Junmyeon thought he had never seen a man look so absolutely defeated and grief stricken as Taemin did walking back down the road that day. Once Taemin was over the horizon, Junmyeon went to go check on his sleeping friend to assuage some of the guilt permanently imbedded in his rib cage now. 

Jongin was sleeping as well or as poorly as ever he did anymore, restless in his sleep, tossing and turning, whimpering, an utterly heartbroken sound. Jongin cried in his sleep. 

"No please, please please" 

Sleeping Jongin begged the ether for a lover to be returned to him that he couldn't and would maybe never remember. It was devastating for both of them. Junmyeon sat on the edge of the bed and sang a song he'd heard Taemin sing to his love, when either of them were sad or hurting, a thousand times over the years.

"It feels like there is no one else in the world but the two of us.

So quiet that we can hear our breathing.

All the stars of the world are in you.

Every night I’m singing,

Ba ba ba-ra

bab bam barid bam bam ba-ra!

I wish you were here."

Jongin settled into a deeper sleep almost immediately. Damn. 

Take good care of yourself Taemin. Someday he'll be back for you. I pray that when he is, it's not to late.

_________________

**Present day**

At first Jongin wasn't sure if he should knock or just walk in. He ultimately decided that since he had been summoned, he could just walk in. He was no man's pet, and he intended to establish that at the outset. Walking through the door for the briefest moment he thought Tae- no?- the man? the man he didn't know, looked bereft. His focus on Jongin was so acute it was making him a little nervous. Jongin held up his glass. 

"Thanks for the drink...." 

He gestured broadly hoping Periwinkle Menace would offer a name. Instead the man flinched like Jongin had slapped him, sunk into his chair, blinked at Jongin in stunned silence, and slid into what seemed like a painful choking cough 

"Oh hey Periwinkle are you ok?" 

Jongin rushed to check on the man as fast as his drink would allow. 

"Periwinkle?", The man wheezed

"Oh shit I said that out loud didn't I? I'm sorry, I just don't know your name. I guess so was calling you The Periwinkle Menace in my head. Is that rude? Fuck. I'm sorry." 

"You don't? ..... Oh.... I... Taemin"

Taemin looked at him with such hope and sadness. Jongin started really worrying that he had totally misread this situation. That would be incredibly embarrassing.

"So uhhh Jongin is.. that is, I'm Jongin... hey Taemin ssi, I feel like I'm intruding. Your bartender, Ten, told me I should come up but if that was a mistake, I can just go..." 

Jongin moved to set down his drink and leave. Taemin started flailing at him anxiously.

"No no that's not necessary at all. I'm so sorry I alarmed you, I, I Don't really have an explanation but I'll be fine. Complete coincidence. Though speaking of coincidences, you're Jongin, right? Junmyeon's friend? You're a dancer... Singer... Something like that?" 

Jongin was completely baffled, he came up here thinking it was for a bad idea great idea hook up, but now Periwinkle - Taemin, looked like he was going to cry and was asking him about his "work" which he had not done in awhile... and actually how the fuck did he know Junmyeon? What the fuck? Maybe he should tell this dude off

"Uhh yeah something like that. Look I don't know what..."

Jongin had every intention of saying something snarky and walking out... something about Taemin's wide, sad, eyes dismantled his finely tuned defense mechanisms. 

"It's been awhile honestly. I've been having... I don't know if you'd call it a midlife crisis in my situation... I don't know how to explain it... I am just so incredibly tired of feeling like there is a huge essentially important hole in my life, something I lost.... That it left me with this open wound that can never stop bleeding.... It never stops, I cant escape it I can't live with it. I can't even understand it, so how am I supposed to ever get better? and I can not believe I just told you that. What the hell? I'm so sorry... I'm not sure what's going on with me tonight... are you ok Taemim ssi?" 

Taemin was not so quietly thumping his forehead against his desk, the dull whump sound echoed, a hollow lonely rhythm filling the spacious office with disquiet. He didn't actually move when he spoke, mumbling into the desk.

"Ohhh I'm fine"

Jongin was strangely moved by this person he had never met and the obvious wave of devastation he was valiantly trying to keep under control. He dragged one of the chairs around the desk so he could sit by Taemin. 

"Hey Taemin ssi is it ok if I touch you, just, I hate seeing you hurting so much. I don't know know what is actually happening, or happened between when you saw me and when I got up here. But I don't expect anything just because of some sustained eye contact. You don't have to pretend, well anything, on my account... and well... I'd like to rub your back if that would be ok..."

For a long minute Jongin thought that Taemin hadn't heard him. Just as he was considering repeating himself, Taemin whimpered assent. He was trembling when Jongin touched him, so he did his best to be gentle, rubbing broad circles into the smaller man's back. The warmth of him reminded him of something nice be couldn't quite remember. Something else came to him though, a song he'd known forever. He sang quietly, trying to comfort not disturb. It seemed fitting enough. 

"When I'm too tired and tired

When I'm so upset and sick

Be my place to lean on

Give me a hug

When you want to put everything down

When I feel like I'm alone

Be my place to lean on

Give me a hug

Umm, give me a hug" 

Jongin sat quietly for a minute contemplating the song that had always given him so much comfort before he realized maybe it was backwards. 

"Yaahh, I mean... I'd be happy to give you a hug if that would help" 

Taemin stirred, facing Jongin with a comparatively calm and peaceful expression. Good. 

"Where did you learn that song Jongin ssi?" 

"I don't really know... I had an accident when I was younger. I don't really remember anything from before... I'm sorry." 

Jongin wasn't sure why he felt the need to apologize to this sad stranger over his memory loss. 

"But hey Taemin ssi, I know this is super abrupt but with the tears and all this awkward sharing of history, you could call me Hyung. You know it's uhh..." 

Jongin lost his train of thought when Taemin sat up abruptly and swiveled to look at him in abject shock. 

"I can can call YOU Hyung?" 

Jongin shrugged in mild embarrassment. 

"Well yeah, I'm older than I look. Trust me. I'm older." 

Jongin nodded at Taemin with earnest intensity.

"Well Jongin Hyung, how do you know we aren't the same age. I'm older than I look too" 

Jongin stared at Taemin for a minute, eyes as big as saucers.

"That still sounds really weird for some reason... Yeah you know what. Ok lets just be the same age" 

They both laughed at that. Jongin scooped Taemin's tiny hand up without even thinking about it. Taemin watched their fingers intertwined for a few minutes before he roused himself. 

"I'm really sorry. You know I try to keep all of this stuff inside and I didn't, I won't let it happen again. I, the thing is I lost someone awhile ago. I thought I had come to terms with never knowing the comfort and love he blessed me with, ever again, and hearing you talk about your loss. Anyway, I'm sorry. I won't let it happen again." 

Jongin's face was full of empathy when he pressed a warm, dry kiss into the back of Taemin's hand. 

"I don't think my loss was a person- was it? Surely they would have told me if I lost a person??? Junmyeon would have- wait... actually, You know Bunny well enough to know about me? By sight?? Should I be freaked out?" 

Jongin laughed, he didn't move to let go of Taemin's hand. Maybe he should be freaked out but he really wasn't. He was... happy maybe. Yeah. Maybe he was just a little happy. 

"Well Jonginni- Jongin, I know his boyfriend Minho. We go way back, I guess you could say. He's always griping about how you need to do more with your quite prodigious talents, his words not mine. As for recognizing you... Sir you are gorgeous, half naked, have a waist length chartreuse mullet and you're absolutely covered in black light tattoos. You're a little hard to miss" 

Jongin made a pouty face at Taemin. 

"You make me sound like some sorta dance club fuck boy." 

Taemin laughed so hard he folded in on himself, still clutching Jongin's hand. 

"You're not even wearing a shirt, are you telling me you aren't a dance club fuck boy?" 

Jongin tried to pull his hand away in mock offense, but Taemin wouldn't let go, only laughing harder at his pouty struggles. 

"No I am not a dance club fuck boy. I am an artist. It just so happens that sometimes, the tattoos are part of the show. As if you have room to talk, mister I summon thee with the unwavering power of my fuck me eyes." 

"Ohhh well since you are an artist that was apparently going to perform here for free anyway. You should come work for me. Name your price. I need a headliner, and I can see you have the juice just sitting here pouting at me over your obvious fuck boy status. You can have total creative freedom... I might even be willing to collab with you if you dance as well as you sing. It'll get Bunny off your back right? And Jonginnie Honey, if I wielded the full power of my fuck me eyes in your direction. You'd be ass up and halfway to happy land right now. You'd be wise not to disrespect the full magnificent power of The Periwinkle Menace."

"Halfway to happy land huh? Ok ok, I shall not disrespect... You know, yeah, for creative freedom. I'll work for you... Maybe I'll collab with you if you dance as well as you command... It'll get Junmyeon and Sehunnie off my back anyway. That alone would be worth it. But also, as weird as this night has been, it's also been the best night I've had in a century"

"Cool" 

If Taemin noticed Jongin's slip up, he didn't say. Thankfully, because the tenuous warmth in his stomach wanted to stay. They sat quietly holding hands, lost in centuries worth of memories. The quiet ease between them was astonishing to Jongin who did not remember ever connecting with someone so immediately. He didn't want it to end, but of course it had to eventually. There was a knock on the office door. It was a business after all. Taemin seemed to rouse himself from his own reflections, raising his voice to be heard from the other side of the door 

"Come in" 

A nervous young man with big eyes, a mop of colorful hair, and a hilariously shocked expression at catching his boss giggling and holding hands with a stranger. He was all angles with an indie anime aesthetic, and apparently some anxiety. Jongin instantly liked him. After centuries you got pretty good at reading people... usually, Periwinkle Menace not withstanding, and this young man's energy was so lovely. He suspected it was nearly impossible not to like him. 

"Oh, heyyyyyYYyy Hyung, umm ha, the thing you told me to research? It's... There is... Movement." 

The young man ended with an adorably awkward flail. Jongin definitely liked him. 

"Thanks Taeyong ah, this is Jongin, our new headliner. Make sure his paperwork gets taken care of ok?" 

"OooOoouhhhhhkay" 

Taeyong fidgeted in embarrassment from the raw awkwardness of being in the middle of a moment of emotional intimacy and vulnerability that two minutes ago he would have told anyone was impossible. Taemin was a man eater, a dragon. He had a whole tiger inside him, a monster. Taemin was as scary and determined as he was beautiful and utterly inaccessible. He did not fuck around, he got things done... and he surely didn't fuck around holding hands with boys like they were in middle school. It was impossible, yet here he was, here they were... still holding hands. Taeyong wondered if he was dreaming, but even that seemed beyond comprehension. Taemin leaned into the other man, Jongin, whispered to him for a minute and then ushered him out the door. Emotional mysteries would have to wait. As soon as Jongin was well down the hall, Taemin spun around. 

"So you found him?" 

"Yes Sir, our people think he's been hiding out in the US." 

"Really?" 

Taemin relaxed a little, patting Taeyong, acknowledging his shock in an unobtrusive way. 

"Taeyong ah, you can call me Hyung. I know you worry, a lot. But it's ok. We're family here. I'm not an evil overlord or some business man. I'm an artist... with a very thorough plan. Ok?" 

Taeyong turned mildly pink, squinching his shoulders up. 

"Aye... Yes Si- Hyung. I understand." 

Taemin gave him an encouraging smile, but didn't dwell on something he knew made Taeyong uncomfortable.

"Ok, good. Now! The US really? That's a surprise. After all these years, and he was in the US?? If the things we've heard are true. We need to be very careful going forward. I think this is a Mark type situation, don't you think? And have him reach out to the Two Princes. They both speak English, and are absolutely the best at what they do. But for fuck sake, everyone needs to be careful. Please remember what's at stake."

"Of course Hyung, speaking of risk, not to speak out of turn or anything. But do you think that this is a good time to bring on new talent?" 

"Taeyong ah, you don't know what you are asking me, so I will tell you once and only once. Kim Jongin is protected from on high by the deities themselves and by me personally. If there is even a breeze of disrespect in his direction there will be repercussions. You understand me? As long as he's here, he's here, and everyone will play nice. That's the end of that."

"Yes of course Hyung, I'm so sorry it took me by surprise. Of course you know best SirrrrHyung." 

Taemin softened at the sight of Taeyong trying not socially flail at him. He was emotional right now, maybe he overreacted. 

"All right Taeyonggie. You have a ton to do right? No need to worry so much about an old man. I'm ok" 

Taemin waited patiently enough for Taeyong to finish going over every detail of their plan going forward. There was a reason Taeyong was his second. Taemin had big ideas, but sometimes got so swept up in the emotion of them, while Taeyong saw details with such clarity it was quite impressive. They made a very good team. Once he was finally alone he slid his phone out of his pocket and started frantically typing. 

\----------------

"Yahhhh Bunny, WAKE UP!"

Minho pushed and shook Junmyeon with increasing frustration. 

"Babe, wake up your phone is blowing up. Please please fix it. I'm to tired for this. Fix it! 

Bunny finally roused himself enough to stare blearily at his phone. 

Taemin 

12:45 am

Holy Shit 

Holy shit! 

He came to the club tonight. I thought he remembered me 

He didn't

Fucking devastating, but he was so kind, so sweet, comforting me

He remembers our song Bunny 

Touching him again

It's been so long. I could cry

I offered him a job, told him you told me about his skills 

I know ok, you don't have to lecture me

I'm sorry. I panicked. 

I just couldn't bear to see him walk out the door and never come back

He remembers our song, Bunny

\----------

Nini 

12:47

You told your boyfriend's friend about me? 

You have a boyfriend? 

What the fuck Hyung? 

Anyway he offered me a job and I took it so there is a nagging ban now

I'm done 

He was really beautiful

... I think I might like him

Did I lose a person Junmyeon?

\------------------------

That night, Taemin barely slept at all, mind full of possibilities he hadn't allowed himself to entertain in several decades

Jongin slept better than he had in a century. 

The hole in his heart felt just a little less raw.


	2. With This Strange Mood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm adding it in the tags, but I want to want anyone who might be effected that there is a panic attack described in this chapter. I did my best to make it authentic but not triggering to read, but of course it could still be. So I Marked that section, the last section in the story with 5 dashes like so
> 
> \-----

Two and a half weeks had gone by before Jongin saw Taemin again. Nini was writing, planning, and choreographing an entire new show and Taemin... well Taemin was always busy working too. There was no time to mope over a boy so he didn't. Even if he had hoped their peculiar and particularly intense meeting had meant as much to Taemin as it had him. If it didn't, it didn't. He'd live, whether he wanted to or not, long after the Periwinkle Menace was no longer on this earth... it didn't matter... At least that was what he'd been telling himself non-stop for two weeks. 

That particular Tuesday he'd come in at dawn to get an early start on his dance day. He was taking a break to eat when Taemin walked out on the floor, saw him, and turned right back around to get back on his private elevator... that hurt more than just a little, so instead of letting it slide like he had been, he got up, jogged to the stairwell, and as soon as he was out of sight, teleported to the hallway outside the office. He knew he was being a little reactive, but that was enough highschool bullshit. If he'd done something he wanted to know what the hell it was so they could move past it. He needed them to move past it. The fancy elevator was slow, It was a calculated necessary risk. There was even time to lean against the wall, next to the elevator's button panel, all casual like. Not a care in the world. Yeah right. 

The elevator hummed, doors slid open, Taemin hustled right past him without even glancing in his direction. Rude. 

"You looking for me?" 

Taemin stopped cold, so he didn't startle easily, whatever. When he turned around he seemed almost happy to see Jongin, then his eyes went cold. That distant expression made him heartsick for reasons he did not understand.

"Did... did I do something to you? Have I done something to you?" 

Jongin slid down the wall to huddle, dejected. He didn't know why he felt like crying, just that he did and he hated it. 

"What? No, Jonginn- Nini, no you haven't done anything to me..." 

"Then why do I feel like you're disappointed in me every time you look at me? Why are you avoiding me? If hiring me was a mistake, please just tell me. I didn't take the job for your money. I took it for y- please... just tell me if you you've changed your mind. I can't bear making you so miserable in your own space. It's breaking my worthless heart... I didn't really think it could be broken more than it already was. Please." 

Jongin cursed his big emotions, crying over an employer avoiding him. What the fuck? How did that make sense? He covered his face with his hands and tried to collect himself. He heard Taemin cursing under his breath, walk back to him, and sit down cross legged in front of him. 

"Nini, I'm a jack ass. I'm sorry. The thing is, no that's not how I should start. I don't want you to leave. I've been avoiding you because I'm completely emotionally useless, not because you've done anything wrong. See, I offered you a job because I wanted to see you again. I wasn't thinking, I just, I just wanted to see you again, it was impulsive. Then once you were here working, I could see what a truly stunning performer you were, I was embarrassed by my unprofessional behavior. I've done a great disservice to your artistry. Since then I've been trying to think of some way to fix it. But I'm selfish, I don't want to give any particular bit up, Not Kai the brilliant performer, not smart, capable, slightly inflexible Jongin, and definitely not kind hearted, gentle, loveable Nini Bear. I have been desperately grinding my gears trying to figure out how to make all this right in a way that I don't lose any of you, because I'm greedy and I want it all" 

Taemin fell silent, grimacing at himself, staring in embarrassment at the floor. Nini patted his own face, rubbed his neck, thoughtful. 

"So let me make sure that I understand this, you hired me to bag me, then you saw me dance and realized I'd actually be a benefit to your club, then and only then, did you realize it might be slightly unethical to fuck an employee, so you've been desperately trying to figure out a way to make it so I can continue to work here without being an employee specifically, again, so you can fuck me?" 

Taemin, made a small miserable blinky shrug. 

"I wouldn't put it like, fuck. I, want to explain myself but, Yes" 

Jongin laughed affectionately at Taemin's clear discomfort.

"Well in that case, I'm not your employee" 

"I'm sorry what?" 

Jongin chuckled at his shocked expression. 

"Your partner, Taeyong I think? He said, and I'm basically quoting, 'Siiiigh I love Taemin Hyung but he thinks with his heart, and his heart is in the art clouds 24/7. I know he said he wanted to hire you, but he doesn't want you to work for us, he wants you to work with us, so I've drawn up some subcontractor paperwork.', for what it's worth, the deal he gave me is very fair considering the market & we can renegotiate in three months"

"So you're not an employee?" 

"Technically I'm just renting the space until I put on my first show" 

"So you're not an employee... You're a local artist?" 

"Sure, if that will get you to stop avoiding me, I'm a local artist." 

"Damn, I really need to thank Taeyong for being such an amazing business partner and friend" 

Jongin laughed a little, slapped Taemin playfully on the knee. 

"He said you'd say that too, he told me to tell you he knows, but if you felt that guilty, he had a few ideas for compensation. I believe the words 'stage time' were uttered"

"Oh man, he doesn't know I'd have given him stage time years ago if I'd known he wanted it. Oh Taeyongie. You're the best." 

Taemin laughed then gathered himself up, looking up at Nini through his pastel bangs, doing his best to be appropriately serious. Humor was one of his first and strongest defense mechanisms. He could only hope Jongin would understand. 

"Okayyy, on a more serious note, I guess since we're co-workers sort of then, it might be ok." 

"We're not even co-workers, we just work in the same building. Its like we work at the mall. You manage Claire's, and I'm the guy who sells over priced sunglasses and phone cases in that kiosk right outside your door"

"Oh well as long as you're only the sunglasses kiosk guy"

"I'm definitely only the sunglasses kiosk guy." 

They sat giggling at each other till Taemin scooched Jongin over enough to sit by him. Their hands sought each other, clasping reflexively. They both felt more relaxed when they were touching and instinctually sought that out. 

"Come dancing with me Taemin ah" 

"We both work at a dance club" 

"Not here. Ten tells me you are an incredible dancer. Come dancing with me. Please" 

"Oh fuck. Well.... I don't know..." 

"Taeminnie pleeeeeaaaaase" 

"Jonginnieeeeeeee isn't it considered rude to whine for dates? No pressure these days remember" 

"Yes but I'm not pressuring you.... look ok, time out. Can we please just not play this game where you pretend you don't like me and I pretend I don't care? Can we please not pretend that meeting wasn't important? I don't understand the rules to this game. I don't want to play anymore, it doesn't feel nice." 

"I don't know what you mean" 

"But you do, I can see that clearly. You do know, and you do want to go on a date with me. You're positively desperate for me to convince you. I don't know why you feel like you need to pretend you don't. If you think it's for your sake or mine. But somehow I know your face better than my own. I know that little disgusted grimace is the face you make when you're lying about something you consider necessary. So yes I know, I don't know how I know but I do.... please no more ice queen and the fancy fuck boy game. It's depressing.. and confusing." 

Taemin pulled their clasped hands into his lap so he could fiddle with Jongin's fingers. 

"I, ok, I guess I should just go, since you know my face, and you know, no you're right we shouldn't play games. I don't want to hurt you. I'm not trying to hurt you" 

"Ok, I'm glad. I really don't want to be hurt. I know I can be easily... crushed sometimes... But also I'm not really pressuring you am I? I really do not want to pressure you at all, if I misread the situation." 

"No you're right, I want to, I'm sorry Nini. It's been a very long time since I've been emotionally vulnerable with anyone. It's hard to not fall back on bad habits" 

"I get that. It's been a long time for me too. We can stumble through all these weird sticky feelings together... Maybe." 

"Yeah, ok, we can do it together, fuck, - Hey Jongin ah?" 

"Thank you. Thank goodness that's over. What the fuck. Stressful... Would be ok if I rested my head on your shoulder? What were you going to say?" 

"Yeah you can, nothing nevermind. It's nothing" 

Jongin squinted at him trying to figure out what that meant exactly, he finally shrugged and curled right into Taemin, easy as breathing. 

"I don't know why I'm so comfortable with you. I never warm up to anyone this fast. Usually it takes me a decade or three." 

"I hope that all of this makes sense to both of us some day" 

Taemin tentatively kissed the top of Jongin's head. Reveling in everything about being so close to the love of his life again, after so many years, decades. He had missed him so much, it took his breath away. 

Jongin wondered if it was possible to fall in love with someone he'd barely spoken to before. This felt bigger, more powerful than any crush he ever remembered having. 

\---------

*465 years ago... approximately* 

Taemin watched the musicians playing, happy to take in something so different from his routine. His favorite part of every week was slipping away to watch the musicians at the local tavern on the weekend. He didn't know why exactly it had such a strong hold on him, but it did. He could be bribed to do just about anything for an opportunity to go listen to the musicians. He wished he could make music himself or dance like the adults. Sometimes when the audience was sparse, he'd spend hours trying to copy their dances. 

It was on one of those days that he noticed another kid, watching. They made eye contact for one second, startled he tried to awkward wave. But the kid ran away, literally ran away. He was pretty sure it was a little girl, maybe a couple years younger than him. Huh. He'd never seen any other kids hanging around the tavern. 

She seemed shy and had a gentleness about her that made him imagine protecting her. He thought she was probably very pretty... though it was hard to say in the split second he'd seen her. Her eyes though, her eyes he remembered vividly. They held his imagination in thrall. He thought about her so much over the course of his week, wondering who she was, why she was there, and why she ran away, that by the time the weekend had rolled around again, he'd built an entire fantasy future for them. One in which he saved her, from wild dogs perhaps, that he would sweep her up like in the ballads and they'd, kiss, maybe? He wasn't really clear on that part honestly. He tended to always be chasing music when the other boys were talking about chasing girls, so he was a little at a loss when it came to the details. But! The important part was that she would love him, they would get married and be musicians at this very tavern, together. 

He was so engrossed in his day dream, he almost missed actually seeing her. He'd hoped this time she would stay, but just like last time they made brief eye contact and she ran away before he could properly react. It happened again the next weekend too. The longer it went on the more he wondered about her as a person. What did she like? what was her family like? Did she have siblings? why did she always come to the tavern? why did she always run away? 

Then one day a very interesting thing happened. That particular day, once he noticed her, they made brief eye contact as usual, but this time she didn't run away!? He was very excited, without thinking he waved quickly at her. She didn't wave back immediately, she shrugged, kicked the ground, blushed, made a tiny little wave and then ran away. Their very first interaction, Taemin was delighted... he was also extremely certain upon any sort of communication at all that she wasn't a girl, she was a boy. A shy, gentle, delicate, pretty, boy, but definitely a boy. At first he wondered if he should or would be freaked out about that since he'd spent weeks day dreaming about marrying - him. But he was actually entirely fine with it, not only did it not bother him, but it really didn't change the nature of the day dream at all. Huh. 

Well, that wasn't entirely true either. It changed one little detail. Now when he thought about saving him from dogs, or whatever, and getting a thank you kiss, a warm electric shock twisted around his spine, jiggled his stomach up, and made his skin tingle. That warm tingly feeling... He'd never felt anything like that before but it was nice. Maybe-. Well he didn't know maybe, so he didn't worry about it. 

But he started to worry about quite a lot of maybes in the coming weeks. For the next several weekends the beautiful boy didn't show up at all. Taemin began to be quite worried that he'd scared him off entirely. He didn't even know the other boy's name! How could he ever find him if he disappeared now? That particular night he was having extra trouble with his foot work. He kept tripping on himself, to distracted worrying that he might never see that boy again to do his best work, hopeless. He finally collapsed on the edge of the dance floor in a frustrated, worried heap. Someone kicked his foot gently. 

"You're putting to much weight on your left foot, that's why you're tripping" 

Taemin was about to lay into whomever had the temerity to bug him right now, but the shout died on his lips when he looked up, and found the beautiful mystery boy standing over him. He couldn't believe it. 

"It's you" 

Taemin sighed in abject relief, but the boy startled as if he were going to run away again. This time Taemin was more prepared, he caught his hand gently. 

"No please don't go! Please I'm sorry I scared you, please don't go." 

Two things were immediately apparent to Taemin, firstly when the their hands touched, the electric shocks happened again, only much stronger than when he thought about them kissing. It seemed to sprout from the place they were touching, shoot directly to his heart and then go careening though his whole body. He gasped with the intensity of this new sensation. More immediately important, the other boy didn't run away, he faced away, blushing furiously, but he didn't pull his hand away, he didn't run away! Ok, he could work with this. 

"Hi, hi! Please don't don't go. You're the only other kid who comes down here. Do you like the music too? I love the music. My name's Taemin, can I ask yours?" 

The blushing boy, who was if anything, more beautiful up close, slowly turned back. He kept his eyes on the ground, then on his knees. Taemin found himself holding extremely still, to give the other young man all the time he needed. When their eyes finally met, the boy covered his face with his hands and sat down heavily, patting his face in a distracted manner as if it could help him think. Taemin sat down beside him. 

"Jongin... Ugh" 

"Oh, well Jongin ugh is a very pretty name, almost as pretty as you are" 

Jongin's eyes flew open, when he saw that he was not being made fun of, rather teased with some amount of affection, he relaxed a bit, rested his head in his arms, watching silently, biting his bicep. He didn't seem as distressed this time, maybe distracted? Still. Taemin just wanted to talk to him so badly.

"Oh hey you're going to hurt yourself. Don't do that please. Here bite me instead!" 

He offered his own hand. Jongin's face transformed into a radiant smile, effervescence looked very good on him, his nose squinched up in the most beautifully cute way. He giggled, and chomped the offered hand carefully. Whoah. If their hands touching made weird electricity in his body, his hand being in Jongin's mouth even for a second, made lightning. He'd never really been bit by a human before. His lips were soft, teeth firm, tongue, heat, and wet, The lightning poured through his whole body in the best possible way. He whimpered a little, maybe. 

Jongin let go blushing prettily, peeking at him from behind his arm, well that was all right. That was a good start. His name was Jongin, he was very pretty, and the weird lightning thing could be explored later. Right now, he didn't run away, that was all that mattered. Taemin wondered if he would talk, maybe if the right questions were asked? Since he didn't know what the right questions were he just started saying things, anything he could think of, before his new friend disappeared again. 

"I'm sorry I scared you, I think you're taller than I thought. Do you come for the music too? I've been so curious about you. Are you by chance afraid of dogs? Nevermind that's a silly question. I think I'm a little nervous, after so long wondering about you. Please don't disappear again. I mean unless you want to of course, but I hope you don't want to. I really hope you don't."

Jongin smiled from behind his arm, it seemed to reassure him a bit to see Taemin also obviously nervous. 

"My mom says I'm having a growth spurt, I just had to get new pants, so probably I'm literally taller than I was whenever. I like the music, to dance... I feel free, like the wind when I'm dancing. I take dance lessons before their performance... I like to stay and listen. I was surprised when you started showing up... I'm sorry I ran away. It's just... kids can be mean. People kind of make me nervous. I don't know, please don't be mad, I'm not explaining myself well." 

"I'm not mad, why would I be mad? Should I be mad? You were here first? I never saw you. I wish I'd known. Well you don't have to worry about people now. Because if they're mean to you, you just tell me, and I'll stomp them for you." 

Jongin laughed gently, from behind his arm. 

"But you're tiny" 

"Doesn't matter, my mom says I have an inverse amount of cussedness for my size" 

"What does that even mean?" 

"Well... I'm not sure to tell you the truth, I think something like, I'm more tough than teeny." 

"Oh, that seems nice, not being afraid of everything. Ugh. Anyway, don't worry about it please. I'm fine... I could teach you the things I learn in my class if you want...and I could walk you home after... My mom says to be extra careful, ghosts or goblins are out here. Something terrible could happen to a kid that's alone at night, so it would be safer. I'd worry about you less... I'm a worrier." 

"Really? You would teach me?! I would love to learn, you don't have to walk me home, I get home on my own ok, if you want to, I'd like that. But if you are walking home alone you have to promise to be careful too. I would never forgive myself if something happened to you because of me. Oh but I'm afraid of all kinds of things, when something scares me, I just want to run at it as fast as I can, get it over with as quickly as possible." 

"Oh that's cool... It'll be worth it to dance with you. I'll be careful I promise. Nothing will happen to me... or you. I won't let it" 

"Ok Jonginnie" 

Taemin loved the way the affectionate nickname felt in his mouth. He never wanted to stop saying it.

After that they sat leaning into each other, as much as they dared, listening to the music they both came for, letting their shared interest speak for itself, having a remarkably good time.

That night when Taemin daydreamed of his perfect future he didn't dream of rescuing the beautiful mystery boy from a dog, he rescued Jongin from a crowd of people...and when he imagined the other boy giving him a chaste kiss in thanks, that burning electric sensation settled in his stomach permanently. He couldn't wait till next weekend. He very much looked forward to seeing sweet beautiful Jongin again. Thinking about him made Taemin's heart race in a way he really really liked. 

\----- 

It turned out that Taemin knew the owners of just about every queer night club in Korea, big or small... he also seemed to have a certain amount of anxiety about going out... or maybe it was more about his autonomy, Jongin didn't really know but he quickly realized it would be easier to let Taemin handle it... it was after all his area of expertise so there was no real reason not to. He decided on a posh, goth, dance club named Peek-a-Boo with a decadent red velvet theme... yes really. Jongin wasn't sure how you could successfully combine binge drinking, dancing, and velvet but if there was anyone who could, it would definitely be the LGBTQIA+ community. For some reason it made him feel a little proud of his people. 

Normally he would just teleport to wherever but Taemin wanted to coordinate their outfits, and give him a ride. Since he couldn't exactly say no thanks babe, I'm a nearly immortal teleporter, I don't need a ride, he went along with it... and maybe on some level he wanted that level of intimacy. He was vaguely aware that he had initially planned on not getting involved with any mortal, but being ignored for weeks had totally changed his feelings about it, as silly as he knew it seemed superficially.

Once he understood that being dismissed hurt his feelings, he understood that this was not just a regular hook up situation for him... if he'd ever been under the impression it was, that denial was over for him. His regular rules seemed inadequate, powerless to temper the strength of Taemin's magnetism. When they were together, he felt more at ease, happier than he had in decades. He stopped trying to rationalize or explain it to himself. 

Taemin lived in an understated swanky apartment above the club, of course he did. The club's office was basically his living room, of course it was. Somehow Jongin was not surprised by any of that at all. He would have been more surprised if that wasn't the case.

When he arrived Taemin had two whole sets of outfits chosen, one was very... Vampire cowboys in love... and the other was more traditional Leather Twinks in love. Both sets were very obviously couple outfits which made Jongin more happy than was strictly necessary. There were also a million accessories he could choose from. Jongin chose the Cowboy Vamps ensembles, and a simple, heavy, titanium, chain, choker style, day collar... he liked-loved how possessed it made him feel. 

The giant black SUV, they rode to the club in was very functional, stylish, beautifully sleek, and mildly threatening... so on brand really. Taemin fidgeted with the steering wheel like he was convincing himself of something.

"Nini, I owe you an apology. I'm usually so much better about being direct. I've not been my best. When you asked to go dancing with me, my reticence, it wasn't you. I told you I lost someone, and well he and I, this is hard I'm sorry I've never talked to anyone about it. He and I, we learned to dance together, he taught me really, we fell in love like that, dancing, together. When you asked, even though it makes no sense at all, for a second I felt like somehow it would be betraying his memory to go dancing with you now. Like I'd given up on that history. You don't deserve carrying the burden of my complicated past. I'm sorry" 

"Hey no that's understandable. Please don't feel bad, I'm the last person on earth to accuse someone else of being overly haunted by their past" 

"Really? I, no that's inappropriate. I'm sorry. Trust me it's really not reasonable but I appreciate your understanding. I, well nevermind. No nevermind. Ugh" 

Taemin shook his head like he was trying to expell something in particular. Jongin peered at him. 

"You know whenever you're ready to tell me whatever that thing is that you've been considering telling me, I'll listen. I'd like to think I'm not a person who judges, who would judge you for whatever it is you're so worried about." 

Taemin grimaced at himself over the steering wheel. 

"I, fuck I guess no one has ever accused me of being subtle. I, I know that I will. I have to. I'm very afraid of what that knowledge will mean. I know you say that you wouldn't judge but you don't know what it is, so you really can't say for certain. I don't know what to say, I'm sorry. I'm trying to get there." 

They might have gotten a little further into this particular important conversation if Taemin's phone hadn't started buzzing in a demanding fashion. The caller id popped up on his dash, 'Mark'. 

"Shit I have to take this Nini, I'm sorry."

He pressed a button to answer the call, swearing under his breath, more than just a little.

"Hey Mark, you're on speaker, Nini and I are heading out to go dancing, what's up?"

"Oh no shit? Oh no shit," there was a rustling on the other end of the line, "Hey Johnny, Jae, Taemin Hyung is on a date with the new guy... No way Man he's so hot... Fuck yeah I'm jealous, I'd die if he even looked at me-" 

More voices joined the line whooping in celebration and good natured teasing. Taemin got progressively more embarassed but didn't yell or threaten. Jongin could see that he adored these young men, and they adored him right back. Taemin cleared his throat, they immediately stopped ribbing him.

"All right now that you have managed to thoroughly embarrass me, can we please get to the business at hand? Do you have any new information?" 

You could hear a brief scuffle on the other end of the line as they wrestled over who would answer, it sounded like mark won.

"Yes! Yes! Sorry Hyung, these two are always trying to cause trouble- stop it! Yes it is true!- I'm sorry my teammates are so juvenile! We haven't been able to get close enough to gather any umm special information but Johnny is working on one of the Body Guards, and that's probably the biggest news. He's got two body guards like he's worried about someone coming for him. That's weird isn't it? It seems weird to me. He does already have a new client. Young kid of course. We should at least have first names by tomorrow. I wouldn't suggest making any moves yet. You know this part of the process takes time." 

Taemin pursed his lips in thought. 

"Maaaarkie baby, that wasn't that much of an update. Certainly nothing that couldn't wait till tomorrow, during our regularly scheduled update. Did Taeyong tell you I was on a date?" 

"No no no I swear Hyung, Taeyong didn't tell me anything!" 

A quiet, gentle, voice interrupted. 

"Don't get mad at Mark and Taeyong Sir. Ten told Johnny and I, but it wasn't intentional, he wasn't gossiping. He worries about you, you know. He's just glad to see you getting out with someone you actually like. It was, pillow talk, updating us about his family, you know, regular boyfriend stuff. It was my idea to check on you so if you're gonna be mad at someone, please be mad at me. I'm nosey." 

The voice chuckled at himself in bemused amusement. 

"No you didn't Jae. It was my idea and you know it. I'm the trouble maker here. Me, Johnny Suh, Captain of the trouble Guard!" 

"Johnny, Jaehyunnie, you don't have to protect me, I'm not a little kid anymore, it was my idea to call and lying about it isn't helping anyone" 

The three men continued to argue on the other end of the line, Taemin hung up on them, took a deep breath, and peered at Jongin out of the corner of his eye as he parked. 

"Would you believe that they are, fundamentally corporate spies and beyond that they are the best in their business?" 

Jongin weighed the situation in his mind. 

"That they are the best? I have no doubt, acting silly or young doesn't make people incompetent, you should see my friend group, Baekhyun and Sehun alone, are total chaos. ha!... But you aren't telling me everything, and you don't owe me everything so that's fine, but I can see you feel conflicted about it, so that makes me really fucking curious. I would really fucking prefer not being lied to." 

Taemin flinched like the statement physically pained him. 

"You're right Nini, I'm conflicted. I'm afraid but I don't want to use that to excuse my behavior. Can I tell you tomorrow? All of it. Can I have this one night pretending everything could maybe be ok again? Just one night?"

"Yeah, ok. That's reasonable enough. Is it really that big of a deal? You look like you've seen a ghost, and that ghost stole your boyfriend." 

Taemin laughed, dry and humorless.

"Weirdly sorta accurate, thank you for being so patient with me Jonginnie. You are truly so special. Shall we go in?" 

They held hands, Taemin's hand, like his whole self, was small but so strong, it was comforting for Jongin who usually avoided crowds or touching people. They did not have to wait in line, being beautiful, flashy, and friends of the owner. Being on Taemin's arm felt nice, natural. He wasn't sure when he'd looped an arm around Taemin's neck but it felt heavenly to be close to him like that, like they were made to fit each other just so.

After drinks they gravitated to the dance floor. Taemin seemed nervous, Jongin couldn't figure out why, Ten was right, he was a fantastic dancer. The dancing itself seemed to unwind him though, as the night wore on they spun themselves closer and closer. They fit together perfectly, moved almost as one. Nini was elated, he felt like he was flying, truly free, safe, loved(?). Time lost meaning, there was only Taemin, music, the bass in his bones.

But no club was open 24 hours a day, eventually they had to go home. This time Taemin let Jongin curl up close while he drove. With the windows down, cool night air whipping their hair around, every second felt profound, rich with meaning. The sweet musky smell of a sweaty Taemin made Nini frantic with want. His whole body was vibrating with need, desire to taste, to feel. 

When they got to his apartment Nini convinced Taemin to walk him up to his apartment before he went home, with an entirely to giggly declaration that it could be dangerous for him to go alone. Taemin declared that a not fair line of reasoning but also agreed.

The sound of his door unlocking seemed to release something between the two of them. They were kissing, with a desperation that made Nini breathless. Taemin, strong and firm, sweet tasting Taemin, had him pinned up against the door jam. He tasted exactly how Jongin imagined, everything about Taemin was familiar and new, perfect. In a breath between kisses, he tried to move things inside. 

"Fuck you feel so good, please come in and fuck me baby. I want to ride you, come for you." 

Taemin growled in frustration, bit his neck, ground against him, hard and needy, kissed him again, all possessive teeth, and throaty keening. Jongin felt like he was burning, a flash behind his eyes, -fucktaeminiloveyouhelpfire-, the flash was gone before Taemin pushed himself back, breath ragged. 

"Jonginnie, fuck I want to, obviously, I hope. I can't when there is something unsaid between us. It's not right, no matter how desperately I want it to be" 

Jongin pouted, pulling Taemin back close, grinding on him, whimpering. 

"Then just tell me, please. Fuck. I want you. I know you want me too, I know you feel this pull too" 

"I do, but it can't be for sex. It's to important, you're to important, and if you never want to speak to me again, that's a reality I'll have to live with, but I really hope you can forgive me. I really hope you decide to stay. It's not fair I know, but I do. Tomorrow, then if you don't hate me, you can have anything you want, you can have my everything" 

Something about how sad & scared Taemin looked, worked it's way through Jongin's sex brain. He held his face gently. 

"Hey that's ok. It's ok to say no. I can't imagine what it could possibly be but it's obviously important to you... and you're important to me. It's ok. It's ok" 

They kissed again, gentle and sweet this time. Jongin watched Taemin, radiating sadness, walk down the hall when he finally left. He wondered at the familiar way his heart was pounding in his chest. 

His apartment seemed lonely and quiet now. He flipped on some music to fill it a bit while he ate, showered, and put on his most comfy pajamas. He knew Taemin was being sincere, but he wished whatever was holding him back, was not. That was the best kiss he'd ever had... at least that he remembered, amnesia not withstanding. 

Thinking of his lost memories, a small piece of that barrier crumbled abruptly as if it had never been there, easy as pie, a memory floated up from the darkness of his forgotten past unbidden. 

\-----

In the memory he was under a young man with shaggy black hair and pretty round cheeks, at first he thought it was Taemin, but that was impossible. His amnesia was from hundreds of years ago. The memory solidified. They were fucking. The young man's hair tickled his face. His kisses were hot and demanding. It was somehow Taemin and not Taemin, young, effusive, and giddy in a way he couldn't imagine Taemin being.

"Fuck, mmmmmhhh, fuck you feel so good baby, I'm so close. Come with me baby, pleeease, tell me you love me Jonginnie."

"I love you Taeminnie. I love you forever. Fuuuuuuccccckkkkkkkk" 

The both keened, overcome by the power of their orgasms. Something felt explosive in his soul, fated. The memory shifted. They were surrounded by fire, fire everywhere, the world was fire, an ugly green alchemical fireball was flying right for Taemin. 

"NOOO TAEMINNNNN!" 

Everything burned, someone was screaming. 

Jongin sat bolt up right in bed, he was so confused, couldn't get the fire out of his mind. Where was he? When was he? Panic creeeped cold and resolute up his spine. Junmyeon had helped, would help, could help. He couldn't find his phone, where was his phone? He was increasingly frantic, by the time he finally found the phone, he couldn't make his fingers work properly to dial. The panic was getting bigger, he knew he needed help but couldn't think straight to figure out who. He thought he was past the flashbacks. He hadn't had one in so long, but he couldn't make his hands work to call anyone. In desperation he teleported, with no clear destination in mind, only help, only safety. 

He landed with an awkward pop in Taemin's bedroom. That figured. He felt a hysterical laugh building in his chest. The fire was still raging behind his eyes.

Taemin leapt up when he landed in his bedroom, surprised, but not shocked. 

"Jonginnie?!? Fuck, Are you ok?" 

Jongin stumbled, sinking to his knees. He couldn't get his panic ridden body to cooperate with him.

"There's so much Fire Taeminnie. I can't get away from the fire baby. It hurts. It hurts so much. It never stops hurting. I'm so tired of the pain. Please make it go away. Baby please, it won't go out. I'll be good. I promise." 

Jongin was sad, scared crying.Taemin had never seen Jongin having a ptsd flash back, but he was familiar enough to understand what was going on, he didn't know what might make it better or worse so he tried to be comforting close but also give him space... He guessed he knew why Jongin was having a flashback right now, it made him sick with guilt. He wiped his eyes and realized he was crying too.

"No Jonginnie, no baby you're always good. You've always been so good. You've been the best baby. The fire's gone now baby, you're all healed up. It's ok now. I promise. Everyone is safe. You're safe. You did such a great job. You saved me baby. We're all safe now."

"You're safe. I'm safe. I did good. Good. Good. Thank you Taeminnie. Thank you. I didn't want to burn anymore. Was to much fire, to much." 

Jongin went still for couple minutes, Taemin, didn't know what to do, so he held his hands and sang an old song he used to sing to him centuries ago. The song seemed to bring Jongin around. As Taemin finished, he roused slightly, swayed loosely, still obviously very confused. His eyes slowly focused on Taemin. 

"Do we know each other? How can we know each other Taeminnie? How? Do we?" 

Taemin saw then how unsteady he was, sweaty and wobbly, caught him as he semi collapsed. Jongin pouted, flailing weakly.

"I, I don't, fuck, Yes, yes we know each other. I'm sorry. It's what I was trying to tell you. I didn't know how. I know that doesn't matter. I'm so sorry." 

Jongin, nodded, a loose jointed affirmation and nuzzled Taemin's pajamas clad chest, breathing deep. 

"Sorry babe, I'm a nearly immortal teleporter, we used to bang but you forgot. Ha. How could you know. Nobody knows. You didn't say, I didn't say. So many didn't says. Four hundred and sixty three years of didn't says. Give or take a decade. Is good good good, better? You smell so good, like my heart, past, future, home- home- home. I'm still in love with you, you know. You were gone much to long Taeminnie, much to long" 

The fear finally cleared from his eyes as he gazed at Taemin, cuddled against his chest breathing his reassuring Taemin scent,, he patted Taemin's face, and passed out. His mind in deep need of rest, after being thrown into intense survival mode with no warning.

Once Taemin had verified that Jongin was relatively ok, just sleeping now, he tucked him into bed, and tried not to be overcome with hopefulness. Jongin remembered him?!

They would have much to talk about in the morning. He hoped with every grain of his being, that Jongin would be able to forgive him.


	3. If I Close My Eyes

Sunshine gave the room a cozy feel as it pooled in warm radiant puddles inching across the carpet. Taemin watched them impatiently for a whole hour before he gave up on being there the moment Jongin woke up. Instead he busied himself getting ready for his day and popping out to get every breakfast food he could remember Jongin loving. This homecoming had been a very long time in coming. He wanted, needed, everything to be perfect. Maybe if he made it perfect enough, Nini would forgive him for abandoning him all those many years ago. 

Maybe if Jonginnie forgave him, he could eventually forgive himself. Maybe. 

It was getting to be late enough morning that Nini should be waking up soon. Padding quietly into the room, he set an excessively full tray of breakfast foods on the bed side table. Jongin stirred slightly at the sound, his long chartreuse mullet, startlingly pretty in the morning sun. That had taken some getting used to. Taemin wanted to touch him so badly, but the gravity of facing Nini's freshly renewed memory made him much to nervous. He tried not to stare with to much urgency as Jongin stretched and squinted sleepily at him. 

"Taeminnie, why are you staring at me?" 

Taeminnie, Taeminnie, Taeminnie. He hadn't heard his name said in quite that tone in hundreds of years. The heavy frantic pounding of his heart rang in his ears. It was hard to focus enough to answer, memories skittered frantically across centuries, trying to catch up. Like a puppet on invisible strings, Taemin's whole body was being pulled closer to the bed, to the half asleep man who unknowingly held all of his hopes and fears.

"Jonginnie, I, you, remem- remembered. Didn't you?" 

Taemin's breath was caught, a terrified little bird in a net, his throat tight, his heart continuing it's frantic drumbeat in his ears. Was he screaming? He must be screaming, breathing was impossible, much less vocalizing the stark fear of tumbling into this abyss of waiting. Seconds stretched out into a life time. He'd been waiting so long. So very long. 

"I remembered? ... Oh... I remembered... Yeah... about that... Taeminnie come here please." 

Nausea raced through Taemin's body, a jagged edge careening after him at the speed of light. He closed his eyes, maybe if he just didn't look, time would stop and he wouldn't have to lose Jonginnie again. Oh no. No. No. No. Please. He'd waited so long.

"What's wrong?"

"Taeminnie, It's ok. Please come here, I need you to come here first" 

When he finally felt brave enough to look, he found Jongin, curled up like a kitten, staring up at him, eyes wide, like one of them contained the secrets of the entire universe. Which one? He giggled nervously at that thought, trying to reel himself in. 

Nodding jerkily, Taemin crawled into the bed and let Jongin envelop him in a warm, firm hug. Half of him was beyond relieved and thankful to have the opportunity to feel him close and reassuring like this again. The other half was excruciatingly aware of how flat Jongin's tone had been, to serious. To serious! His brain screamed pointless warnings. Nini wound his graceful arms around Taemin with tender insistence.

"Taeminnie, you have to promise not to run away." 

That statement did not do anything to soothe his devastating feelings of desperate foreboding. 

"Okay. I promise not to run away"

Jongin practically purred, pressing kisses into Taemin's face. 

"Ok, good. Baby, please don't freak out, but... I didn't really remember much." 

"What do you mean, you didn't remember much?" 

"I mean, and I'm so sorry Taeminnie, I don't remember... I didn't get my memories back. Just a couple of flashes... of our past" 

Nonononononono before he realized he was doing it, he was fighting to get up. He couldn't bear the thought of losing Jongin again. He just- 

"Taemin ah! You promised!" 

He was right of course, he did, Taemin stilled, curling into a tiny miserable ball. 

"Taeminnie please, please listen to me. I don't remember much, it's true, but what I do remember is loving you with every part of me. I remember being willing to give up everything for you... more than once... willing... no, more than willing, happy, thankful to save your life even if the cost of your life, was my own. I'm sorry I can't give him back to you, whoever he was... whomever I was. But Taeminnie, his love for you I remember... and baby I don't think I ever forgot loving you. From the moment I saw you here all I've been doing is trying to to figure out how my feelings could be so big for someone I didn't know. It should've been impossible." 

"But I do know you, and my heart remembered even if my head couldn't. The fire took away my memory, but it couldn't take my feelings... it could never take away who I am... and who I am is a person who has been in love with you for far longer than that sliver of time before I knew you. I don't know the details but I know that... and I don't know if you can settle for me. I think I understand why you might not be able to, but I hope that you'll at least give me a chance, because my heart never forgot you.... and getting you back now... the possibility of losing you again feels apocalyptic. So... I hope..." 

Taemin didn't know how to feel, excited? Disappointed? Elated? Heartbroken? How could he ration centuries of love, longing, and loss into one sentence? One choice? One moment...

"Jonginnie, I-"

\----------+----+------+------

*460 years ago-- More or less*

Jongin had been nervously waiting at their meeting spot for to long. The last two weeks Taemin hadn't come at all, it freaked him out. Years ago they agreed it would be safest if they kept their relationship private. That meant not being seen to much in each other's living spaces. It would not be looked upon kindly if they were were found out. But he missed his love... and he desperately needed to talk to him. If Taemin didn't come this week. He might have to risk going to his house. They just had to talk before it was to late. 

Resigning himself to waiting, Jongin laid down in the shade of the tree there and closed his eyes. He would will himself calm if he had to. 

He was startled some time later, when someone poked him with their shoe. 

"You're putting to much weight on your left foot, that's why you're tripping" 

TAEMINNIE. Finally. 

"Ya think? Maybe you should show me how to do it right..." 

"Oh I could show you something..." 

After so many years Jongin could hear the flirty raised eyebrow that accompanied that comment. He sat up, as Taemin was sitting down, looking pale and drawn. Anxiety rumbled unhappily in Nini's stomach in response.

"Taeminnie... is there something wrong? You've been gone so long, I was really starting to worry. I missed you... and I needed to talk to you." 

"I missed you too. It's been terrible without you, terrible, but you should go first. I don't even know how to start. What's going on?" 

"Oh... Ok... Fuck, I don't know what to do baby... I... You know it was my birthday recently and my parents decided I'm old enough to get married. I don't know what to do. I just want to be with you. You're so good at plans Taeminnie help me think of a plan please" 

"A plan? You want me to think of a plan?" 

"Yeah? I mean together. We always figure something out together." 

"Well, how about this for a plan, my parents decided to send me away, to apprentice as a scribe. They said specifically, no more day dreaming with that Kim boy. Everybody knows about you two" 

"No... Taeminnie, I don't care... you can't... I can't... Please I don't want to lose you. I need you babe" 

Taemin stared into the distance, unwilling or unable to look at Nini as he unstitched their future.

"And what? I'm supposed to sit around and wait for you to have time away from your wife? Your kids?" 

"What? No of course not. We've known this was coming. We'll figure something out. We always do." 

"Ya think? Seems like we've just been lying to ourselves. No, this makes sense, save you the guilt of eventually moving on, popping out some babies and not having any time for your weird old friend, uncle Taemin. No. No thank you. Yeah I think this is better for both of us. You did your duty, you told me. Run back home now, go tell your parents you can't wait to marry whichever neighbor's daughter they promised you to" 

Jongin could barely breathe, much less think. He didn't understand how this was happening. They were supposed to be forever. 

"No Taemin ah that's not really what you want. Pleease. Please baby." 

"It is though. It is what I want. So go on. No reason for either of us to be here anymore" 

The air ceased to exist in Jongin's lungs. He couldn't breathe or speak, why was Taemin mad at him? 

"I guess... If that's what you want. Taeminnie I love you. I don't, I won't ever regret you. I won't ever forget you. Nothing, not even you, can kill this. It is love. It is. Whatever you're telling yourself right now. It is. I think I understand. Just... Just know, my love, my heart, will always be yours. I will always be yours." 

Taemin still wouldn't look at him. Just as well, he wasn't sure he could bear to see the same derision in his eyes that was in his voice. The world seemed skewed slightly to the left as Jongin stumbled to his feet, slowly shambled, blank and devastated, in the direction of his family home. He never made it that far, as soon as he was out of Taemin's sight, he collapsed, to far into his despair to even cry properly, caught in the whirlwind of his broken heart.

He was so completely windswept with despair, that he didn't hear the intimately familiar foot steps run up to him, sliding into an awkward squat in front of him. Taemin wobbled heavily and plopped down on his butt. Jongin looked up blearily, Taemin was crying too. No no, don't cry Taeminnie. 

"Jonginnie, fuck I'm so sorry baby. That was bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. I thought I was to late. Maybe I'm to late. I'm so sorry. I was- I panicked baby. I was lying. I- That was cruel. I'm so sorry. So sorry. Fuck. I messed this up so bad, only- I figured it out Bear. I figured out how we can be together. It's so easy. I can't believe I didn't see it earlier. Come with me baby. Just, Just come with me. Please. I know I don't deserve it right now, or maybe ever. Fuck. I really fucked this up. Before you decide just know, I understand why you couldn't or wouldn't trust me. Maybe it's not fair to say but I need to say it. I need you to know if you can't love me anymore, that I love you so much. I never stopped, I could never stop loving you. You're part of me, I got so scared I couldn't think. But I swear I really do love you, and if you just come with me please, I'll prove it to you every day for the rest of our lives" 

Jongin tried desperately to wrestle his mind back from the brink. 

"Come be a scribe with you?" 

"No, please, how would they even know? Just come with me, we could go anywhere, together... as musicians." 

"But my family..." 

"Tell them you're going to become a scribe with me. What would they say? What could they say?! I know I don't deserve a chance Jonginnie, but if you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I will do everything in my power to earn your trust back, to never ever hurt you like that again"

Taemin looked so utterly devastated. Jongin couldn't bear it. 

"That's a terrible idea Taeminnie... go be musicians somewhere that's not here? That's not a plan. It's an impulse... Ok. As long as you're with me....I don't really care about the rest. We'll figure it out..." 

"Together" 

"Like we always do" 

"Like we always do! Damn Jonginnie, that was terrible. The worst hour of my life. I'm so sorry. Please baby, let's never be seperated again."

"Not ever... I feel all wobbly" 

"I'm so sorry baby. I'm so fucking sorry. Can I hold you Bear?" 

When Jongin nodded, Taemin pulled him close, holding him next to his heart, long after Jongin was more or less recuperated. 

They had a plan now, or a non plan. They were going to run away together. 

\-------+---+------+------+-----------

Taemin took his time, taking Jongin in, this Jongin, the one in front of him, not the one that had been haunting his dreams for almost 500 years. The sun kissed the lines of his cheekbones in a way that made him look like a prince... or a king, regal and kind. As beautiful as he was, his kindness had always been his defining characteristic. The thing that set him apart from the seemingly infinite flow of people he'd known over the centuries. 

"A long time ago you trusted me, when you had no reason too. If you hadn't, I can't imagine what this life would have been without you. Even when you weren't with me, knowing you were out there has always been the thing that kept me from the abyss. Hope. Your hope. You really never stopped being my heart Nini. I guess what I'm saying is, it's odd that you don't remember our history, but you're still you, and I have never stopped needing... wanting you in my life." 

Jongin's eyes were huge with excitement and more than a little worry. 

"Please be very specific Taeminnie... is that a yes or an, I'll think about it?" 

"That's a yes" 

"Really??" 

"Yes, really. I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it." 

"Fuck. This is going to be weird. I don't really know things like that about you anymore... can I touch you...more, I guess... I'm sorry. I'm a touchy person kinda..." 

"Hey no, it's ok. It's weird. But, I don't know baby I've spent so long doing normal without you. I'm tired of it. I'll take weird with you. Also, I do know you're touchy, you always were, even before we'd admitted we had feeelings for each other. So please consider this my standing permission to touch me anytime you want from now on. I've gone without way to long. Much to long." 

Jongin wanted to touch him everywhere, absorb him, feel him in his pores, taste him, breathe him. His need eclipsed his ability to define it. He simply needed.

"Ok that's good, sad, nice, I don't know... can I squish you?

"Oh hell yes, please. Squish me forever if you want." 

Jongin, tentatively laid on Taemin's chest. Being able to hear the wub wub wub of a slightly nervous heart wrapped in the smooth woosh swoosh of breathing he hadn't known he missed, it felt like coming home. He relished the comfort. 

"Nini, umm can I ask you what you did remember? Is that ok? I've never really... Fuck I'm really sorry I wasn't there. I didn't know you guys even survived for a long time. By the time I did-" 

Jongin kissed Taemin's chin, his collar bone, his shoulder. 

"Please don't be. It's, I don't know what happened before but we're here now. I know for my own self, trying to live in the shadows of my past, has only ever brought me misery. We're here now, what we do now, that's what matters... What did I remember? Ha, well it's mildly embarassing to say out loud, but I remembered us... fucking... but more importantly than that, is... it was like a flashback? But a good one. I was there, I could feel you. I knew you. I loved you... No it wasn't just that I loved you, it was like my entire universe was eclipsed by loving you. It was so much, so intense it couldn't all fit in my heart. You were my entire world, my happiness... Your happiness was my happiness, that's all." 

"That's all???"

Taemin rubbed eyes that were red with barely contained emotion. 

"Please don't cry Taeminnie. It's ok now. You know what else though, once I got past the impossibility of you being part of my pre-amnesia life, hundreds of fucking years ago, I wasn't surprised. If anything it felt like, something finally made sense... Something that had been out of alignment for so long clicking back into it's proper position." 

"All these centuries have made you real poetic, you know. You said you remembered two things, I think?" 

"Oh yeahhh... I remembered a little of the fire. Specifically I remember being surrounded by fire, you were on the other side of a wall... of green fire with a few other kids, we were shouting at each other over the roaring, that we'd meet up, something was interfering with our powers, they were... unreliable.... I told you... that I'd find you... I'm so sorry I didn't find you baby... I turned around and this man he was, he threw a fireball at you, I guess? It was green like the rest of the fire. I could barely see you, just well enough to know you couldn't see me, couldn't see him, couldn't see the projectile. I didn't even consider anything else, what it would do, I jumped in front of it. My powers, I didn't see the point if I couldn't save you with them. Then... The.... The fire... It... "

Taemin pulled Jongin up so he could see him better, hold him more actively, sprinkled his face with reassuring kisses. 

"I didn't see any of that, I... I got my friends out, and went to our meeting spot, but you never came. I could feel your power. You know it's funny, that's why I was up front the day you came to the club. It had been so long since we'd been in close enough proximity that I'd felt the pull of your powers. I couldn't believe it. But back then, it never occurred to me that you were hurt bc, of that. I'm so sorry Jonginnie. I'm so sorry. Jun told me what happened after from his perspective, that you were... the alchemical fire was burning still when you found them.... and fuck I'm so sorry. I- I, it was later, a year or two, I heard about you guys, these beautiful boys who could sing and might do a secret miracle if you were kind, if you had a need. It was on the market gossip chain out of the blue. Months of nothing and then suddenly there you were... It took a while of following stories, asking the right questions... I tracked you down eventually. But I couldn't, the guys still needed so much help. You didn't remember me at all. I had been hopping everywhere everyday, a little further out, and a little further out. Jonghyun' needed someplace new to rest, to heal. It seemed so impossible. Maybe I was just scared. I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry." 

"I already said it's ok, it's ok. I don't think either of us were prepared for that. So I guess the alchemist obviously gave you powers too. What are yours?" 

"Oh hell, you don't remember my powers of course, but you remember the alchemist? I thought you knew I would have been more explicit"

"No direct memories other than this new one, but Junmyeon & Baekhyun have told me the story... obviously they left large parts out..."

"It's not their fault, I may have heavily implied when I tracked them down that since they hadn't said anything thinking I was dead, that they should keep up with it." 

"I guess that makes sense, I would have come looking for you." 

"Maybe I should have let you" 

"Ok, well I'm declaring this a happy time, no moping about choices made centuries ago. Now tell me about your powers! ... Please."

Jongin sat up, blushing prettily at Taemin, just like he did when they were so much younger.

"Fuck Nini, you're so beautiful. You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen I think. My powers? Damn I almost forgot. I have the exact same set of powers as you. Primary teleportation, minor telekinesis, a strong empathy with each other, minor empathy/telepathy/future sense with other people... Mostly plays out at surprisingly accurate hunches, and shape shifting but it's an energy sink so we didn't use it much... what?" 

"We have the same exact powers?" 

"Yeah?" 

"The same exact powers? Nevermind, I'm mad you guys didn't tell me." 

Taemin clamped his mouth shut in an attempt to keep the small broken whimper inside him. 

"No no no hey Taeminnie I was being silly, please please don't feel bad. It's ok, but how did that happen? All the guys... they all have different powers."

Taemin seemed so sad as he thought back on those years, Jongin was almost sorry he asked. 

"He never really knew for sure, he said he thought it was probably because we were so much alike and had spent so much time together, but he always suspected there might have been an element of will & desire, that we had spent so long molding our lives into something perfectly intertwined, that our own cells no longer fully realized we were two seperate people" 

The silence was broken by a heater kicking on, the mechanical whooshing seemed to stir Nini from whatever well in his spotty memory, he had fallen into. He sat up fully, suddenly very excited about something 

"Really? Wait, so it doesn't make you sick to ride along or anything?" 

"No, of course not, well it's been a really long time since you've given me a ride anywhere, but we did experiment, a lot, back then." 

"Fuck, you're, you are perfect. I can't believe it. I am so saturated with being in love with you. I feel, I don't know, incandescent." 

"No, Jonginnie, aren't you listening? I'm not perfect. I left you behind. I -"

Jongin gently covered his mouth, physically shushing him.

"I didn't mean like that, nobody's perfect like that. I have flaws, we both do. I mean, you make perfect sense to me. That I feel more content with myself laying here with you, while you tell me about my own past, than I have in a very long time. I'm saying that, you don't complete me, but my own completeness makes more sense to me, next to yours. I'm saying that finding you, knowing love, knowing I'm worthy of love makes... I don't know, it matters to me a lot." 

"What the hell are you talking about, of course you're worthy of love" 

"I know that, but knowing I deserve love, while the whole world treats me like a broken thing... this world doesn't have much use for broken things Taeminnie. So what's the use of knowing your own worth if you're the only one who does?" 

Taemin flinched, scrabbled around so he could, he didn't know what, shake Jongin or something. 

"No, Jonginnie don't say that, baby. I don't think that way, your family doesn't feel that way. Please don't say that."

Jongin looked at Taemin then, like he felt a little sorry for him, for some reason. 

"Taeminnie baby, I understand what you're trying to do, that hearing me say that, it's hard for you. But telling me I'm wrong about my own life experience, isn't really helpful." 

"Fuck, you're right. I'm sorry."

"I know I am but thanks for not arguing with me about my own life. That's exhausting. Nevermind. Can I take you somewhere?" 

"Right now?" 

The look on Jongin's face was so blase' amused, Taemin almost thought he was kidding. 

"Sure" 

Taemin nodded in mild confusion as Nini beamed at him. 

"Taemin ah, you know how there is that split second, as you're teleporting that's in between here and there? The nothing between?"

"Yeah, of course" 

"Well hold on to your hat babe" 

\---+---+--+--+--+-

453-ish years ago

Agony 

Jongin only knew agony as alchemical fire spread through his body. He could feel it's magics chewing him up. It's hunger knew no bounds, the fire licked at his magical connection to Taemin. Famished. 

NOOOOOOOOOOOO 

He acted on reflex wrapping his magic around the fire like a cloak and throwing himself backwards into the only place their connection couldn't follow. The place between here and there. 

This was not a place meant for man or a fire, but he couldn't leave again without the fire using their magical connection to leap to Taemin and eat him up as well. So the man who shouldn't be, couldn't be, did. Nothing was no place for man or fire, their atoms lost coherency, transformed, became pure light and pure darkness. Man and fire became one, found understanding in the glimmering between times, dissolved nothing, grew into everything, spiraled out into the mists of time in the beginning of beginnings, burned eternal until the end of time. 

Father? 

Fire and man who were now one and the same both forever and never at all, summersaulted through eternity for seconds and a billion years. Forever. Until the nothing between was truly nothing again. Nothing. Silence. A sacrifice given freely in the name of love. 

.

Love. 

.

Wub wub wub 

.

Love... Wub wub wub

.

A first kiss, shared in the cool silver light of the full moon

.

Love. Wub wub wub

.

A tree in both past and future

.

Love. Wub wub wub

.

The comfort of a barely remembered heartbeat

.

Love. Wub wub wub

.

A thousand eternities spinning together

.

Love. Wub wub wub

.

Together

.

Love. Wub wub wub

.

Together

. 

Love. Wub wub wub

.

Taemin

.

And the nothing that was both a man and a fire, remembered what it meant to be a man again

.

Taemin

.

The man who was a fire, and the fire who was a man, wound all their burning pieces 

.

Taemin 

.

They reached into the past and future and found a way 

.

The man having been a fire forever and never at all, reached out of the ether and pulled his friends through to safety, as many as he could, as well as he could. The man wished to do more, to find his lover, but the eternities were written and what could be done had been done. The man knew it was and would be enough. At last the man and the fire lay exhausted in the nowhere. They had been none and one for to long. If they went back they would consume each other again, such was their nature. And so a compromise was made. The man that was would stay in the nowhere with the fire and the man that would be, could safely leave. 

We've been waiting for you so long father

Eternities waxed and waned as the man who was a fire and the man who would not be understood the nature of their being. Finally the man who would be, had made all the plans they could and fell forward into the somewhere again. 

As with any other infant, he was born screaming. 

\---+-+--+--+-+-+--

Taemin was of course familiar with the place between leaving and arriving. The nowhere in the breath between this and that. It was not a place for staying. You moved through the nothing and hoped it didn't decide to eat you in the meantime. 

And yet here they were in the nowhere, seemingly comprised of fluid golden light. Jongin helped him up. How did one stand when one was nowhere? When they were made of nothing? ... and yet here they were doing just that. 

Jongin kissed him in the nowhere and Taemin remembered, the things that were not his to remember that which was and that which would be. He remembered the man that was a fire who stayed behind so the man that would not be, could be a man again. He split again and again through the eternities. The man that was a fire and the man who would not be fell to their seperate paths again as he pulled them out of the nothing and into the something. 

They landed on a warm golden mountainside, under an ancient tree. Birds were singing. Taemin briefly felt like screaming, the confusion melted away with his first breath. No longer part of whatever the fuck that was, he was just Taemin again.

"What the fuck was that??" 

Taemin lay panting in the lush green grass. 

Jongin was calm, sitting beside him, holding his hand. 

"I'm sorry, I wasn't sure how it would be, and I didn't have all the pieces until I got that memory back. It's easier when I've been there recently. I remember more, maybe I'm more whole. Explaining. How can I explain that?" 

Taemin flailed in what was fundamentally, agreement. 

"I think now, no I know now. The reason I survived when I got hit by that fireball, the magic, had some sort of search or targeting feature I don't really know, but it was trying to jump from me to you through our connection. I didn't know what to do, to stop it. So I threw us into the only place it couldn't get to you, nowhere. I don't understand or even remember all of what happened to me, but I do know one thing Taeminnie. You didn't do this to me. I did this to me. The fire and I couldn't be fully seperated. I left part of myself, my memory, my past, behind with the fire, so that I could have a hope of finding my way back to you out here. It won't last completely, the understanding of what it feels like in there, but I wanted you to know that now while I still remembered it." 

What could anyone say to that? Taemin tried to breathe calmness into him, to feel the universe around him, as he came to realize where specifically they were. 

"Is that why you brought me to our tree?"

"Is that where this is? I used to dream of here. For awhile I was lost, in time maybe. I'd fall asleep there and wake up here. I didn't know I was trying to find you again. But I don't know it's a little reassuring that I was" 

Everything around them, was golden in the setting sun. The depth of the pain in their shared past seemed almost impossible in the light of such beauty. 

"Fuck Jonginnie, I- "

"It's ok baby, I have no regrets. You were worth it. You are worth it... and the alchemist died in that fire so we're safe. Finally maybe we can just be." 

"Yeah, actually, about that Nini, that's part of what I was struggling to tell you or not tell you, the alchemist didn't die in that fire." 

"What?"

"He's back again, and he's active"

**Author's Note:**

> Kaiiiiiiii Solo!!!! 
> 
> This one shouldn't get to long and complicated. The story arc is pretty straight forward. If you usually read my fics bc I don't usually do slow burn or hurt/comfort. 
> 
> I want to thank you for giving this a try anyway, and reassure you that I am personally here for representation and escapism. 
> 
> I resolve sad feelings quickly bc real life is more complicated. Here things can be beautiful and supportive so that is how I choose to make them for my characters as much as possible.
> 
> \-----------
> 
> I have a Twitter where I ramble occasionally  
> [@SpaceandGlitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/SpaceandGlitter)  
> [My Carrd](https://moonboysandbinarystars.carrd.co/)


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